Teen Titans the Untold Story
by Agent of the Divine One
Summary: Because if a word of this gets out Beast Boy is dead. Just something pointless a fellow author encouraged me to put up. Enjoy!
1. Beast Boy is right: Repent!

**This is random. I was joking around with someone and they thought it would be funny so it is being posted.**

**Enjoy! Or don't and George W. Bush comes back in 2012! Mwahahaha! Ahem! On with the randomness.**

"The house is on fire!" "You'll do anything for attention won't you?" Robin having heard something similar countless times continued to lounge in the sun and ignore the delirious cries of the resident shape shifter.

"No really Robin there's flames coming from the tower!" Robin heaved a sigh and craned his neck back casually upward only to have his eyes bug out before clambering to his feet. "Beast Boy there are flames coming from the comm room!" "I told you! But did you listen to me? NOOOOOooooooo."

"Nevermind! Titans-!" "Robin it's just us! Let's just go!" Robin hunched down and pouted as he tromped up to the tower and into the comm room only to choke on a large amount of acrid smoke.

"Cough. Cough. Is there anyone in here?" Shortly following that question the sprinklers went off and the fans started pumping the foul air out of the room.

"Whoever started this is doing extra training until they die." Robin said this without a trace of humor, but it was hard to take him seriously when his head looked like a dead bush.

"Sorry Robin. The waffle maker got in a fight with the blue fuzz in the fridge and...well..." Robin felt a sweat drop join the water droplets dripping down the side of his head as he muttered about his ruined sun bathing.

"See Robin! Just because something goes wrong doesn't mean it's my fault!" "Duly noted Beast Boy." This was ground out through clenched teeth. "Starfire!"

Shoom! "Yes Robin?" "I-" Robin opened his eyes just as he was about to deliver his ultimatum and felt his cheeks burn as he realized the love of his life was wearing nothing but a towel having just finished with her shower. "Um Star?" Starfire smiled sweetly. "Yes Robin?" Robin cleared his throat loudly. "Shouldn't you get dressed?"

Only then did Starfire look down turn as red as a sunburned lobster and zip away and back again. "Ahem. What was it Robin?" Robin puffed out his chest and stated in a regal voice. "Let it be known that the blue fuzz is to either be destroyed or given to Slade by this time tomorrow so we can avoid further incidents like _this_." And here he gestured to the charred and soot covered common room.

"So you have said, so it shall be!" So it was that the next day Slade opened his fridge and found himself fighting for his life inside an amorphous blue blob.

And if you were close enough to hear you could just make out a muffled roar of, "TITANS!"

**So yes, I'm thinking one more chapter and then the next thing that comes out is a new chapter of Without My Mask. Later!**


	2. Robin's Day

**Well there weren't many reviews, but that doesn't matter since the people I wanted to hear from the most were the ones who let me know what they thought.**

**Now once more let there be randomness!**

**Oh and I don't own Mel Brooks or Rick Astley.**

"Beast Boy we're going to be dead meat when Robin finds out!" Cyborg's concerns were of course justified. Especially with what was about to be done.

"I know! That's why we have to do this! We may never get another chance! Besides you know this is gonna be hilarious!" And as usual Beast Boy's flawed logic and love of humor propelled him on to yet another antic which would land him extra training for a year.

"Only until Robin makes you wish you had never been born." Raven added her blunt observation which was like putting a needle to a fully inflated balloon.

"Oh but friend Raven it will be so fun! Beast Boy I am delighted to do this for Robin's Day!" Indeed the princess was floating higher than usual from all the barely contained energy at the prospect of the special routine they had worked up.

"Why did I agree to this again." Beast Boy smirked close to her face and waggled his eyebrows. "Because you love me."

Raven rolled her eyes in response before putting her fingers to her temples and reaching out to find their prey. "I'm sensing he's close." "Okay everybody in position!"

Psh! The doors opened to reveal Robin who looked at the assembled Titans with an expression which described a man who had just encountered a universe where up was down, disco was popular and Rick Astley was the most popular musician of all time. But just as he was about to ask what in the name of God's green Earth was going on the other Titans broke out in song.

_We're men! We're men in tights! We roam around the forest looking for fights._

_We're men. We're men in TIIIIIiiights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor that's right!_

_We may look like SIIIIIssies! But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights!_ _WHAM_!

_We're men! We're men in tights! Always on gaurd defending the people's rights._

It was after the first part it became even more silly with Cyborg and Starfire moving to the end of the line and doing chorus girl kicks while doing a "Lala" rendition of the Can Can.

_We're men. MENLY men! We're men in tights! Yes! We roam around the forest looking for fights!_

_We're men. We're men in TIIIIIiiights. We rob from the rich and give to the poor that's right!_

_We may look like PAAAAAAAAAAnsies! But don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights!_ _BAM!_

_We're men. We're men in tights. TIGHT tights. Always on guard defending the people's riiiiiights. When you're in a fix just call for the men in TIIIIIIIGHTS! We're butch!_

It was only after they flexed their muscles in the ending pose that Robin shoved his jaw back into place with a closed fist and voiced his opinion of the production. "Titans..." Each of the others waited with bated breath (and in Raven's case boredom) with his reaction to all of their hard work. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF SLADE POSESSED YOU TO DO THIS!? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH RIDICULE!?" Beast Boy's hand shot up, but was quickly slapped down and held with force behind his back.

"I MEAN IT'S BAD ENOUGH I GET IT FROM ALMOST EVERY VILLAIN, BUT YOU GUYS?" All of the other Titans shoved Beast Boy forward. After giving the others scathing looks for feeding him to the sharks he broke out in a nervous sweat under the merciless stare of his leader. "Well...uh...you see..." Later on it would be remarked on as the height of irony in the tower but as Beast Boy's salvation appeared he was only possessing one thought, _"Holy serendipity Batman!"_ Just what was this timely diversion?

"Titans." All the bodies in the room shivered in trepidation of the formidable presence of their arch nemesis. "As I am sure you are aware I was recently assaulted by an amorphous creature when looking for something to eat." All the Titans were in battle positions preparing for the worst. "Usually there is the concoction of some grand scheme to take my revenge on those who have wronged me, but in lieu of that I propose a deal." "What makes you think we'll take any deal you have to offer Slade?" Robin of course didn't trust Slade as far as he could throw him. And with good reason too. Given how much better Slade was he couldn't throw him at all.

"It is quite simple really. I am looking for the person in charge of the assault on my person. If that person is positively identified then the rest of your little team will be spared my wrath." Robin crouched lower and prepared to spring into action. "No way Slade. We stick-" Robin was quick to notice the flashing neon arrow which appeared seemingly out of nowhere and traced it to Cyborg's arm along with all of his team mates pointing their index fingers in his direction. "Titans..." Obviously Robin was not in a good mood. "If we ever get out of this alive I WILL MAKE YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!"

"Oh come now Robin. That isn't the way a leader should behave. And besides..." And here Slade's hand was set ablaze. "You need to learn that actions have consequences." The fireball hit Robin before he could even flinch and his agonized cries echoed throughout the common room. "Ah! My tights are on fire! My boxers are on fire! I'm on fire!" This continued on for a minute or so until the sprinklers went off and Robin lay scorched on the floor. Cyborg out of a sense of decency quickly covered him with a towel to preserve what little dignity he had left.

"Well that should be sufficient to dissuade others from trying something similar." His gaze fixed itself on Beast Boy who was sweating even more than he was under Robin's glare. "Until next time." And just as suddenly as Slade had appeared he vanished.

"Beast Boy." A barely discernable croaking sound came from Robin's laid out form. "Yes Robin?" Beast Boy leaned in close not wanting to miss a word of what he was saying. "You're doing extra training for a year." And as Robin fell asleep from exhaustion Beast Boy again entertained a very prominent thought. _I bet if I mixed his gel with super glue he wouldn't notice._

**Well there you have it. Disjointed, bizarre and random. Hopefully I can find my muse and get another chapter of It Ends in Blood or Without My Mask up in a timely manner.**


	3. Who is the Criminal!

_Okay I'll confess that other than this story the others are essentially dead. I just don't have the drive to write for them anymore. They represent dreams and imagination. Two things I haven't been able to keep alive for very long at all. So it is time to let them die._

_This story however has made some people laugh and I genuinely enjoy writing it. So here is yet another installment in the bizarre catalog of stories that never made it onto paper._ _Because if they had then Beast Boy would wish that Trigon had taken over the Earth. Don't ask. It's for your own good. :)_

It was another beautiful and sunny day. The sky was as blue as Cyborg's circuits. The Sun as yellow as the inside of Robin's cape and the grass as green as Beast Boy's skin. Like I said a perfect day.

Which is why Beast Boy was pouting and stewing as he sat at the main control console for the comm room after having blown the sound system throughout the tower yet again. Now thanks to what he did every time someone farted for the next week Beast Boy was going to be reminded of the unpleasant aftermath of his prank on Raven.

Mercifully the screen sprang to life and up came up with nine different targets. Now this was not the usual wacko or in the case of Dr. Light a world class sissy (no offense to the women reading this) but it was quite unusual because of the targets names. And Beast Boy being a comedian at heart was stunned at the sheer poetry of the names. That was ten seconds before he fell out of his seat laughing uproariously. And then it was another ten minutes before he was able to control himself enough to contact Cyborg with the news.

"Dude!" Beast Boy had just enough control to not bust out laughing again. "Hey man what's so funny?" Cyborg's human eye quickly narrowed in suspicion. "Did you pull something on Raven?" Beast Boy sobered momentarily at that. "No dude! I didn't do anything. Something just came up on the monitor."

"What is it B?" Beast Boy grinned wide and proud at his treasure of a secret. "I don't want to say yet. Just get Starfire and Raven up here." Cyborg of course was suspicious and it showed in his next statement. " Why don't you want Robin to know? This isn't going to blow something up again is it?" Beast Boy just made his next statement with a smug smile. "No Cy. But it is going to be drop dead hilarious."

"Beast Boy if this is another prank I will send you to meet my father. Beast Boy understandably shuddered before he pointed at the screen. Starfire of course didn't get it, Raven didn't show much of a reaction and Cyborg snorted and chuckled before high-fiving Beast boy. "I totally agree with you B. This _is_ going to be hilarious!" Beast Boy beamed in pride. "Of course it is Cy. Now I just need to call the leader to the room."

"Robin! We have trouble!" Faster than a speeding waffle more powerful than a Russian weightlifter! Robin emerged from the main doors. "What's the problem?" "Yes Robin he's attacking the jewel depository." "No Beast Boy I mean who is causing trouble?" "Yes Robin he's robbing the bank!"

Robin took in a deep breath to help himself calm down and tried to ask Beast Boy yet again what was going on. "Look Beast Boy. I need to know who is threatening the city. Now you tell me what is going on right now." "Robin I just told you! Who is robbing the bank and What is attacking the jewel depository." "That's what I'm asking you Beast Boy!" "Well that's what I just told you!"

It was at this point where Robin could almost be seen with smoke rising from his head as his next words trembled out of his mouth in barely concealed annoyance. "Beast Boy I don't know what kind of game you're playing and I don't care, but you tell me right now who is causing trouble."

Beast Boy heaved his own great sigh and tried to explain it again to the masked leader. "Robin you've already know just about everything!" "Beast Boy I don't even know who is attacking the city!" "Yes you do Robin!" "Beast Boy I'm getting really tired of this. I asked you Who was causing trouble, What's going on and then told you I Don't Know and I Don't Care! And you still wont give me a straight answer! Why!?" "He's pulling a tech robbery!"

Now Robin had developed a tremendous tolerance for the ridiculous. After all living in Jump City brought that to his doorstep everyday. But Robin had enough of this and rounded on Cyborg to try and get some straight answers. After all he was less likely to spout nonsense unlike Beast Boy.

"Cyborg? Can _you _tell me what's going on?" "Sure Robin we need to get to Tomorrow." "Why do I have to wait until Tomorrow!?" Cyborg quickly held up his hands in a placating gesture knowing this could get ugly. "You don't Robin! I'm just answering your question!" "Why did you tell me Tomorrow?" "Because that's the answer to your question!"

Robin tried his hardest not to blow his top and after pounding his fist into his palm he flung out his arms, "Alright! I don't know what's gotten into you two, but we're not waiting any longer we're going to take care of this Today!"

Beast Boy chipped in with encouragement. "That's the first thing you've said right this whole time Robin!" Robin turned a frightening shade of red and stomped up to Beast Boy before lifting him up by the collar. "Beast Boy?" "Yes Robin?" This was said in a timid voice since his multi-colored lead looked like he was about to murder him. "Why do you keep talking nonsense? Is it Because you like seeing me angry?" "No Robin Because isn't making you angry he's attacking the reservoir!"

Robin promptly let Beast Boy drop and let out a primal scream. "Ok fine! Make jokes! I'm going to go and stop the person Who is causing trouble." Beast Boy couldn't resist of course and he made one last shot at the leader. "So Who's first?"

Now every person has their breaking point and Robin has just reached his. So it was with a blood-curdling yell and a girly scream that Robin chased Beast Boy out of the tower.

I would like to say that is the end of it. But knowing Beast Boy that was only the beginning of the chaos that would come from being a Teen Titan then and as long as they lived.


End file.
